Youth junk

I was over to visit Gerry last week. He made really good (from scratch, super-thick) ice cream (heavy cream is a really nice thing). I really needto make it over there more. I was in BG to: apply for graduation, see the committee members I could see (which was 2 of 4--not bad), get my registration stuff worked out for my hour of dissertation that is necessary to graduate, push some papers around that needed pushed, and renew some books. Not exciting stuff, but it feels nice to know that graduation is just a defense meeting (and a few drafts, most likely) away.

[This is the third time that I have written a blog posting that has not been posted...I hope this goes through without another mysterious error on Hello's part. Aww, heck, I will jump into an editor that works to write this.]

It is 6am and I have been up for 2 hours. It is the church youth. I cannot stop thinking about the odd attitude that some of the youth have had lately. It is like it is not a group to better yourself or learn about God, but some stupid social clique. I really want to simply say "you people have to leave and never come back" so that clique will die. It is not a healthy group either. It is full of a bunch of insecure crap--they don't give a darn about life. They just want to take, be disrespectful, and get attention. At least that is what I have gotten from them about 90% of the time.

Ok, there are levels of ministry. 1) You have the level of everyone--people who just want to see what is up with the group--these people come to a large group setting. 2) You have the people who are involved in small group Bible studies and want to put in an effort to help themselves and the group--there is some commitment there. 3) Then you have a small group of hard-core students who want to give a lot of their time and effort to serving the group and leading it. This three-tier system is the model that most youth groups have.

Ours seems to have a few youth who have been around for a long time and THINK they are in the small group of leaders. But they don't know the first thing about leading. They are self-centered takers. They are mentally in the first group, but they show up to the non-challenging stuff like they are in groups 2 and 3! Worse yet, they distract and kill the large group by providing a horrible example of leadership--often I have to talk to them and tonight I had to ask one of them to leave. I kept him out of the group and we had a talk about what he was doing with the group.
My ruminations tonight were about asking him to leave for good. I have had this thought a lot. On one level, you want to be as loving and accepting and unconditional as possible to each person regardless of circumstances--this group is the image of Christ that these youth will carry into adulthood. On another level, you want to what is best for the whole group--and if that means letting a few people go in order to perserve the health of the group and to bring in people who are turned off by behavior-related issues stemming from a bad apple, then so be it. I cannot stand by and watch the group die because of a few youth (mind you, these are seniors who act like perverted 8th graders) cannot control themselves. For the most part, the flavor of the group is far better without these individuals and I am convincing myself that there is truly no downside to letting them go.

These people complain. Dang, they complain a lot. More than I am doing right now, even! If I were a youth in the church right now, I would not want to be around them. Ok, this has got to happen. It takes too much of an emotional strain on Anne and me to continue. Anne is really working too hard for the group to have it all spoiled by some rotten apples. I see her frustration. I see mine right now. That is why I go to bed thinking about it, dream about it, and wake up at 4am about it.

When I get really upset about those few, I think about all of the others--those who are really cool and have a huge life of goodness that they are really interested in living. They make working with the group as a whole truly worthwhile. We need more of these people, and we need them to be leaders--because they would truly lead if there were not pseudo-leaders in their place already. There is no point in letting those few "teach" any more visitors that "the thing the cool kids do in youth group is hang on the edge of the conversation and make fun of people/distract people/intentionally be separate group." Ok, we have got to meet with the worst of the group and tell him that he is unwelcome in the group and will have to stop attending. He has already told me that he is unable to control himself and does not want to learn to change that "because he can't---it depends on my mood." This just isn't going to cut it anymore. I cannot let him tear apart the well-being of Anne, me, and the church through his behavior. There is too much investment (time, energy, planning, love--money, even) for him to just destroy it. He has had the stern talks several times. This is just stupid to think about. With other leaders, he would have been gone LONG ago. I guess it is time to do it. At least that is what I am saying now. Of course, that mental equivocation has led to the situation we are in now.

Man, o man, I cannot wait to be the parent of a teenager! At least this gives us a lot of training in what to do/not do. I also have this impending sense that Perrysburg is not the place to be. That said, househunting in Perrysburg has not been terribly successful. Sometimes you just want to get away and have some separation time from a situation so you can see what is good/bad--you know, get a fresh persepective. Of course, I have work soon. It is 7am now. Time to bring my annoyed and unslept self in front of a glowing monitor in my 68.5 degree florescent-light workplace for another 8 hours. Maybe my wrist will get that awful "I mouse too much" strain again.

Life can really be a drag sometimes. I feel unbalanced. I need a break like crazy. Too bad that won't happen.